I'm in Scotland with some friends, half way up a hill. I leave them to go to the top of the hill alone. Over the peak I come across an old house with a sloping garden. There is some washing on a washing line. Everything seems to face upwards.

Wrong Train
I'm on a train. It's a sunny day. We're supposed to stop at Manchester Picadilly, but we don't. A few other passengers join me in my surprise as we go past the paltform without stopping. We all become more animated in our displeasure when we are told it won't stop before Glasgow. I had previously resigned myself to a pleasant ride up to Carlisle or Oxenholme, but this information changes things.

We're in a hall (like a scout hut) about to play a game of football, but Patrick doesn't want to play, so I persuade him by pretending to be a quiz show host, pulling back a curtain to reveal the fabulous prizes he could win, which makes him laugh.

A simple memory; making love to Vivienne in the morning. Extremely erotic.

I'm at the cinema with a gorgeous French girl but the film is really sick. The first scene shows Jews with no arms or legs rolling around on a slightly sloping lawn. The Nazis have done this to them but the odd thing is they only look slightly cheesed off about it. I make a conscious decision to wake up because it's Sunday, and time for football.

The White Van
(excerpt from a complex dream); 2 of us are chasing after someone and we find our way blocked off by an obnoxious friend of this person, who blocks the road (of a middle class estate) with his white Bedford van. I climb on the roof to shout things at him. He's a white South African, apparently, notorious for maltreating blacks.

Football on TV
We're watching football in a basement room where I live and a guy is asking if he can stay for the night. Everything is confused, arrangements going on all around me, but I only want to concentrate on the TV.

Bike Muggers
I'm on my bike, cycling down Divinity Rd. A gang of youths is waiting for me at the bottom. The latest craze is picking up cyclists, with their bikes, and throwing them into the road. They try to do this to me but I fight them off and escape.

Back to School
I'm about to play football for the school team (in yellow! We're playing against a team in pink!) I get changed and come out of the changing rooms but can't find the bogs as everything's changed since I was at school. I run off up the road to the pitches and the match starts. Our forward scores a Diego maradona-type goal to put us in front.

Confusion in France
I'm in an old castle in France where a film is being shot and I'm something to do with it. A girl (Ruth, from Fleet Jazz) gives me an 18th century map of France but I lose it. I also lose my shoes and my tain ticket gets losked in a room I haven't got a key for. I remember panicking and running, hopelessly, feeling stuck in this terrible situation with no way of getting to my train in time.

I'm walking down a road in Bulgaria. It's sunny and there are concrete buildings everywhere. I meet Phil Gallagher and Tracy and a Bulgarian friend of theirs. We want to go swimming so we get on a bus. It takes ages to get to where I've just come from (and I remark on this). We all get out when we arrive at the building which I know because I'd played football in it the day before. Phil and I get undressed and have a shower. Nothing seems to be happening d¡so I have ab¡nother shower and ask why their friend won't have one.
"He wants to work in a circus" Phil 'explains' "and it's bad for him if soap gets in his eyes."

Spurs V Chelsea.
I go to see Spurs play Chelsea and I'm wandering around medieval parts of London expecting to see the ground at any moment but it bnnever appears so I go with some other people and end up watching a play in Russian in a church at the top of a hill. I'm with a girl and I start kissing and fondling her. I get carried away with passion but remember where I am just in time and watch the rest of the first act. At the interval the girl leaves. The play is part of some cermonial bullshit occasion. I try to find someone to tlak to but there seem to be mostly Germans.

In Prison with Jesse James.
I'm in a prison cell and Jesse James is in the next cell along. After we've played a bit of music a woman is brought in and we settle down for the night. There's a lot of moving around but no sex and a lot of joking, and in the morning she's gone. I go out through Jesse james' cell to the entrance where the girl is being interviewed by the sheriff. He's asking her why she killed all those people. I dash back to Jesse James and say "Hey, that girl's killed loads of people and they put her in a cell to sleep with me."
"Never mind that" he says and we strike up some more music on the guitar and banjo so we can forget about her.

Two Nightmares from Bolton.
1) I'm in the back room of the Bullingdon Arms playing my violin. It's dark and noisy and crowded. Mark Fitzgerald is there and we stumble drunkenly over each other. There's a loud roar like something going up in flames and sounds of general panic. "What's going on?" someone shouts and someone else shouts back "War's broken out!". I see smoke and confusion and wake up.
(There appears to be smoke in the bedroom and I have to switch the light on to assure myself there isn't. It's 3 a.m.)

2) I'm in Mexico with some other people. I plan to steal a dog from a rich family in a large house. The plan backfires and we end up in jail. I think I'll be ther forever but they letme out after a few hours. It's not as horrific as I fear. That evening, back in the U.S.A. I sing a song about my experiences.

Sapphire Blue Car
A very flash blue car, low and shiny, sapphire blue, which I drive entirely by pedals at my feet and in which I'm going to Glasgow via Stonehenge (which, in the dream, is near Newcastle). I stop and get out, walk back down a hill into town, find a college, ask unhelpful directions, get in the car, go back over a bridge, drive through files of schoolgirls on either side of the road, who throw stones at me as I go through, and stop at a concrete hut, which is where I'm staying for the night. The girl I'm with gets pissed off with me and leaves. I go out to collect logs in the evening sunlight and bring them back into the hut. I get my 2 teddy bears off my bunk bed and put them on a glass shelf, then settle doen to sleep.

In a Bus.
I'm in a house I've broken into for the night. It's part of a garage and my bus is in the forecourt.Whoever drove me here has gone. I feel safe. I make myself at home and get some sleep. At 2 a.m. I get up and try to drive the bus on further towards wherever I'm going. I switch the light on and put on my coat. I see a flashlight outside. Someone is coming.
(Andy Hodges phones me and I wake up).

Hotel room shooting
Jo decides she wants to sleep with me again and hires out a hotel room. There's some mix-up with the room numbers. A shooting occurs so I go out. Walking along a small High Street I hear more commotion and go down some stone steps to investigate. A gang of people pass by me. I expect tog et beaten up but there's no trouble.

Exciting Match.
I'm at a riotous football match. Chelsea are playing a team which is mostly Liverpool but sometimes Spurs or Arsenal. Chelsea keep going in front and 'Liverpool' equalise, then their keeper stands outside the penalty area with the ball. I scream for a free kick and the ref gives it. We score to go 5-4 ahead, with all the goals in the last 15 minutes. There are only 2 or 3 minutes left. Can we hang on?
This is where I woke up.


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